


the promise of the day

by beeclaws



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Dialogue Heavy, Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 08:14:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10737714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beeclaws/pseuds/beeclaws
Summary: Liam, Ryder and Jaal argue, argue about arguing, flirt, worry, and briefly sing.





	the promise of the day

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Genesis 30:3 by The Mountain Goats.

“I’m just saying, if you want to put that in your mouth, be my guest. It’s your funeral. But I’m out,” Liam said.

Ryder sighed. “Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“Doesn’t extend to weird Krogan desert food.”

Ryder ran her fingers through the chickpea-like beans in the bowl in front of her. “We’ve finally found something alien enough that none of us know anything about it.”

“And that is an achievement,” Jaal said. “If you wish to celebrate by eating this monstrosity, we will be here as moral support.”

“Cowards,” Ryder said, frowning at the bowl. “What will you bet me that it’ll be terrible?”

“What do you want?” Liam asked.

“Your couch.”

“Hell no. What do you need it for anyway? You’ve got the fancy Pathfinder suite.”

“A status symbol. A reminder that I bested you.”

“I will bet you driving privileges,” Jaal said, “on our next trip that spans longer than a day.”

Ryder frowned. “How long have you had that one in the works?”

“Is this deal acceptable or not?”

“And no asking SAM what’s in it,” Liam cut in.

“Aw,” Ryder said, “but SAM’s—”

“A part of you, yeah. That’s definitely not gonna fly this time. Or any time.”

She sighed. “Fine.”

“Pathfinder, I can scan covertly and inform you of its properties via our private line,” SAM said, into said private line.

“Nah,” Ryder said.

“Wait, is it yes or no?” Liam asked.

Ryder replied by grabbing a handful of the beans and throwing them into her mouth. She chewed, held composure for a full three seconds, then started coughing and choking as Liam and Jaal laughed.

“It’s like a worse version of spice. Spice with murderous intent,” Ryder choked. “Liam, I don’t know why you’re laughing. For all we know,” she paused to cough more. “For all we know, Jaal’s a worse driver than me.”

“That seems hardly plausible,” Jaal said.

“Yeah, I’ll take my chances. Or make Peebee switch with me, one or the other,” Liam said. “Now you can have SAM scan it, just to check this evening isn’t gonna end with an emergency med-evac.”

“The substance is not dangerous,” SAM said. “However, further exposure is not recommended.”

“Yeah, no worries there,” Ryder rasped, swallowing the last of it. She got up and headed for the sink, filling a glass with water. She caught Liam watching her, slowly shaking his head with a look in his eyes she didn’t know how to name. “What?” she asked.

“What?” he said.

“You. You’re looking.”

“Yeah?”

“He was looking,” she said to Jaal.

“Is that right,” Jaal said, inscrutable, looking from her to Liam.

Ryder smiled despite herself. “Idiots,” she said, softly.

“Well, that we can all agree on,” Liam said, holding her gaze.  
  
…  
  
“So,” Liam said, “why sniping? Or why your whole stealth, long-range, tech deal.”  
  
“Eliminating all the other options, to an extent,” Ryder said. “Close combat really isn’t my thing. I don’t know how anyone deals with all that chaos.”  
  
“We’ve had nothing but chaos since we got here.”  
  
“Yeah, but it’s…” she trailed off, tapping at the wheel. “Sniping’s like a whole different game. Like two people are playing chess, and you’re…shooting at them from the rafters.”  
  
“Is there a word for when a metaphor never gets off the ground? One quarter of a metaphor?” Liam said.  
  
Ryder sighed. “Is there a word for when your loyal, elite team won’t stop badgering you?”  
  
“Is there a word,” Jaal said, from the back of the Nomad, “for when you have listened to two people bicker for so long that you start to hear an echo of it even when all is silent?”  
  
Ryder smiled. “Like when you’re on waves for too long, and you start to feel the rocking even when you’re back on dry land.”  
  
“Now that’s a metaphor,” Liam said.  
  
…  
  
“Wait, what? Twenty-two?”  
  
“Well, I was born six hundred and twenty-two years ago, but yeah.”  
  
“Christ,” Liam said.  
  
“I kind of assumed that was common knowledge,” Ryder said, holding her scanner up above her head, squinting up at the monolith before them.  
  
“If they made me Pathfinder now,” Liam said, leaning back against a nearby rock and gesturing at nothing, “I’d be freaking out so loud you could hear it back in the Milky Way.” Jaal huffed a laugh, still facing away from them, eyeing one of the already scanned glyphs. “If you did it to me at twenty-two…” Liam trailed off, shaking his head.  
  
“It could be worse,” Ryder said, frowning at the monolith. “I’ve got a few minutes on Scott. I could have wound up comatose and he could have had SAM shoved into his head. No offence, SAM.”  
  
Jaal turned to face her, “It was your brother who was next in line? Or was he next after you?”  
  
“Oh, neither,” Ryder said. “I guess we never explained the full story on that.” She jumped, triggering her scanner at full height, still a good ten feet below the edge of the monolith.  
  
“What are you doing, anyway?” Liam asked.  
  
“Hoping this glyph magically moves to a more reasonable spot.”  
  
“Fair.”  
  
“Anyway, Jaal,” Ryder said. “I was never actually supposed to be Pathfinder. Well, I guess I was on the list somewhere. But my father kind of…overrode protocol, so here I am.”  
  
“At twenty-two,” Liam said.  
  
“At twenty-two,” Ryder said.  
  
“It sounds like there is a story there,” Jaal said.  
  
“I guess,” Ryder said, looking off into the distance for second. “Not for today, though.” Jaal hummed an acknowledgement. Ryder started walking off around the monolith. “Let’s try the other side,” she said.  
  
“You mean the side we already tried,” Liam said, following.  
  
“Yep!” Ryder said, cheerfully. “Or I could bring the Nomad down here, see if I can jump off of that.”  
  
“If we bring the Nomad down here, we’ll never get it out again,” Liam said.  
  
“Yeah, probably,” Ryder sighed. “I really thought being Pathfinder would involve less acrobatics.”  
  
They trudged on in silence for a moment.  
  
“So,” Jaal said, “you did not ask for any of this.”  
  
Ryder turned back to face him, and found he was giving her a curious look. She smiled, a little sadly. “I asked for a new world. You don’t get to…” She shrugged. “I don’t know. You ask for a change like that, you don’t get to quibble about the parameters. Or if you do, it won’t do anything.”  
  
“If we could, though,” Liam said, thoughtfully. “Less acrobatics.”  
  
“Less acrobatics,” Ryder agreed.  
  
…  
  
Ryder caught sight of Liam a moment before he sat down on the same crate, almost back to back, tilted a little forward so they could both see where the crew were slowly packing up the Tempest.  
  
“Someone’s being productive,” he said, after a few moments of silence.  
  
“It’s technically my shift for sleeping,” she replied.  
  
“Doesn’t look like sleeping.”  
  
“To get to a bed I’d need to move.”  
  
Liam hummed as though this made perfect sense. “You know, you never answered Vetra,” he said.  
  
“Huh?” Ryder said.  
  
“When she was telling me off about getting up close and letting my shields go down.”  
  
Ryder paused. “It didn’t seem like a question.”  
  
She felt him shrug. “Still, you’re the boss. If you want me doing things differently, that’s something I should know about.”  
  
Ryder kept her eyes on Jaal, who was standing a ways away, deep in conversation with Drack. About guns, she assumed. It was usually about guns. She was turned too far to see Liam’s expression, but she had a feeling he was doing the same. “You know,” she said, exhaustion threading through her voice, “half the time now, one of those Kett dog things gets behind our cover, I don’t even break scope.”  
  
“I’ve noticed,” Liam said. “It’s kind of terrifying, watching you deadeye some guy seventy feet away while there’s chaos right at your back.”  
  
“It’s because mostly, I don’t even have to look now. To know what you can do. To know what you’re doing. Why do you think I drag you and Jaal to places like…” she trailed off. Liam pushed gently against her back. She pushed back, and carried on. “To places like the Archon’s ship. It’s not a punishment. It’s because when I’m with you and Jaal, there are things I just don’t have to think about. I couldn’t replicate it if I tried.”  
  
She turned so that Liam could see her face, but didn’t quite meet his eye. “So you’re good, is what I’m saying. As far as I’m concerned, you’re good.”  
  
There was a beat of silence, then Peebee called out: “Hey, I bet this would go faster if our fearless leader pitched in.”  
  
Ryder sighed, and turned towards Peebee, getting to her feet as she answered. “I don’t know. All this work is character building. I’d hate to deny you that.”  
  
“Oh yeah,” Vetra said, “because otherwise we’d be slacking off, with only a galaxy to save single-handedly.”  
  
“Exactly!” Ryder said, listening for the sound of Liam rising to follow her.  
  
…  
  
“The Pathfinder has left you behind, I see,” Jaal said, coming to sit on the opposite side of the booth to where Liam was hunched over a drink.  
  
“Her exact words were ‘Thank you for hovering. Now go away.’”  
  
Jaal chuckled. They sat in comfortable silence for a minute or so.  
  
“Have you ever known anyone who died and came back?” Liam asked, looking up to meet Jaal’s eyes.  
  
Jaal gave him a sad smile. “A couple who were thought lost and returned home. Many, many more who did not.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Liam said, quietly.  
  
“As am I.”  
  
“It gets to you,” Liam said. “Dying. Even if you’re a soldier. Especially if you try to go right back into things. And with all this,” he gestured widely, indicating the whole Nexus, the whole of Andromeda, “she can’t do anything but go right back into it.”  
  
Jaal stayed quiet for a moment, frowning. “You were there when she died the first time,” he said, finally.  
  
Liam nodded. “I hardly knew her then. An hour or so dodging lightning on Habitat 7, then something triggered and she just…” He gestured again.  
  
Jaal remained quiet, and Liam looked up to meet his eyes. “Something on your mind?” Liam asked.  
  
“I am unsure if what I planned to say crosses a boundary,” Jaal said.  
  
“Only one way to find out.”  
  
“You seem troubled,” Jaal said. “Beyond simple concern for another.” He paused for a moment. “I suppose I am asking whether you’re alright.”  
  
Liam huffed a laugh. “Well, of course I’d take offence at that.”  
  
Jaal smiled. “You are surprisingly difficult to read, at times.”  
  
“Apparently not.” Liam leaned back in his seat, staring down at his drink. “I came here alone, to Andromeda. Lots of people did. And, you know me, I get on. Dive in. But the people who loved me, my whole world, it stayed behind. It was the first time I’d ever been without that. And now,” he stopped a moment, still frowning, “I’ve got her. And I’ve got you. And it’s almost worse.” He looked up at Jaal. “When I let myself think too much, it’s almost worse than being alone.”  
  
Jaal held his gaze, sympathy and warmth and something indefinable in his eyes. Liam found some of the darkness around him breaking, found himself smiling, half awkward and half fond. “Uh, thanks,” he said. “For checking in.”  
  
“Thank you for being honest.”  
  
Liam looked away, still smiling. “Thanks for hovering. Now go away.”  
  
…  
  
“You sure this can’t wait? We’ve been pushing so hard, it just seems weird to go hunting for a gardener with the fate of the universe in our hands,” Liam said.  
  
“I’m sure,” Ryder said. “I owe Drack, and one more day isn’t going to make a difference.” She paused. “And I want to do one more good thing, before we go.”  
  
“You mean one last good thing,” Jaal said, an edge of sharpness to his voice. Ryder shrugged. “It does not do to go into a war expecting a loss,” he said.  
  
“I’ve been dying every other Tuesday, it’s not like I can ignore the possibility.”  
  
Liam frowned. “Not that funny, for those of us who’ve had to watch it,” he said, quietly.  
  
“Sorry,” she said, reaching over to grab the last of her weapons. “I want to live. I plan to live. Regardless of whether I do, I want to square things with Drack first.” She straightened up. “And I don’t know why you two are hanging around here: you’ve been spared another trip to the desert! Make the most of it!” She gave them a small wave, and headed out the door towards the shuttle.  
  
Liam gave Jaal a long look as she vanished. “Want to watch a vid?” he said, finally.  
  
“Angaran or Initiative?” Jaal replied.  
  
“Flip you for it.”  
  
…  
  
Ryder was idling in the engine room, half her focus on the tablet in front of her, half on planning and re-planning the next few days. Across the way, down by the opposite set of doors, she could see Liam and Jaal in conversation, Jaal facing away from her, Liam leaning against the wall gesturing lazily. The hum of words was too quiet to make anything out, but the memory of their venom-less arguments ran in her head, rhythm without words.  
  
She turned her focus to the notes on the screen in front of her. A few minutes later, she looked up again and something indefinable was different. Jaal was stood a hair closer. All the tension had bled out of Liam’s shoulders, and though she thought their mouths were moving, the words were too quiet to hear even the murmur of noise.  
  
She turned her back, leaning against the window she’d been looking through, letting the words in front of her move in and out of focus.  
  
…  
  
“Somewhere over the rainbow,” Liam said, looking out at the last of the sunset.  
  
They’d set up at the very edge of Kadara’s outpost, gathered round a heat lamp. Jaal made a questioning noise.  
  
“Old, old musical,” Ryder answered. “A little girl goes to a far off land. There are wizards. People sing.”  
  
Liam chuckled, “We’ll have to show it to you some time. In case that description didn’t cover it all.” Ryder kicked lazily at his foot. “Ryder’s definitely Dorothy in this scenario,” he added after a moment.  
  
Ryder made a face. “She did have a nice dog, I guess. Who does that make you? The Tin Man?”  
  
“Oil can, oil can,” Liam deadpanned. “Nah. Scarecrow without a brain?”  
  
“No, that’s not a good burn,” Ryder said. “The Scarecrow wasn’t lacking impulse control.”  
  
They both laughed, and Ryder looked over at Jaal, who was watching them with the smallest smile.  
  
“Sorry, Jaal,” she said. “Context strikes again.”  
  
He shook his head. “The rhythm of your speech is…pleasant to listen to, even without the necessary background.”  
  
“Come on, Liam,” Ryder sat up. “Let’s clue him in.” Liam raised an eyebrow. “Somewhere, over the rainbow,” Ryder sang softly, flushed even in the dying light, “way up high.” She kicked towards Liam again.  
  
“I don’t know the words!”  
  
“Are the dreams that you dared to dream,” she sang, slowing down to let Liam jump in. He picked it up on dream, and they sang, Liam half a second behind as he tried to remember the words:  
  
_Once in a lullaby  
Somewhere over the rainbow  
Blue birds fly  
And the dreams that you dreamed of  
Dreams really do come true_  
  
“Aaaand that’s about all I’ve got,” Ryder said, lying back down.  
  
Jaal laughed warmly. “Impressive. Consider me culturally educated.”  
  
“You’d better be, after that,” Liam said.  
  
They sat in silence for a moment.  
  
“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Ryder said, quietly. She was looking straight up at the stars, face half in shadow from where Liam and Jaal were gathered round the heat lamp. “People on Earth were dreaming of going far away before they even knew how far they could go.”  
  
Liam lay down parallel to Ryder, gazing up at the now dark sky. Jaal shifted a little closer to both of them. “A remarkable species, certainly. To be forever seeking the next horizon,”  
  
Ryder hummed in agreement. They could hear the buzzing of the heat lamp, a distant crash that might be rocks falling, or something moving out in the dark.  
  
“Is the Archon the wicked witch or the asshole wizard?” Liam asked.  
  
“That was his official name,” Ryder answered, a smile in her voice. “Asshole wizard.”  
  
“Don’t make me take back my compliments,” Jaal said.  
  
“You owe us a song, by the way,” Ryder said. “I’ve just decided that you owe us a song.”  
  
“Oh, definitely,” Liam said.  
  
“The song was a gift. You’d demand payment for a gift?” Jaal paused. “Also, if we are splitting hairs, I owe you two verses of a song.”  
  
“I’ll take that,” Liam said.  
  
Ryder nodded. “A very brief insight into an alien culture.”  
  
“Achieved through trickery and merciless bargaining,” Jaal said, tonelessly.  
  
“As it was always meant to be,” Ryder said. “Dad would be proud.”  
  
…  
  
“What about you, Ryder?” Jaal continued. “Did you have a favourite world?”  
  
Ryder thought for a moment, tapping her fingers against the wheel. “You know, I think I liked space stations and just…space, more than any particular world.”  
  
“Side effect of Citadel-living?” Liam asked.  
  
“I guess,” she said. “It really was beautiful, even when you spent every day there. Especially when you spent every day there.”  
  
“You miss it?” Jaal asked.  
  
Ryder smiled. “All the time. But I was missing it before I left for Andromeda. I could have tried to stay, pushed my career in that direction, but…I don’t know. Everyone leaves home some time, I guess, no matter how beautiful it is.”  
  
Jaal made a thoughtful noise. Ryder took the Nomad over a ridge and they all braced through the crash, Liam and Jaal with an air of deliberate, pointed silence.  
  
“So,” Liam said, after a moment, “where was your favourite place on the Citadel?”  
  
“I think just…home. Or this huge window right near where we lived. When you look at something every day, you kinda start feeling like it’s yours, no matter what it is. So I’d walk past this window every day, and get this view of the stars. And they started to feel like my stars.” She shook her head, staring out the windscreen with a far-off smile. “This scrawny little kid, feeling like they owned stars.” Ryder could feel their eyes on her, but kept her gaze on the road. “So, those are our favourite places from home. What about favourite Andromeda worlds?”  
  
“Eos,” Liam said, immediately. “We’re building good things all over. Important things. But that was the first – hard to beat that.”  
  
“Havarl,” Jaal said.  
  
“Because of family?” Liam asked.  
  
“Because of family,” Jaal said. “Why else?”  
  
For a few seconds no one responded, and they listening to the revving of the engine, the crunch of the rocks below.  
  
“Habitat 7,” Ryder said.  
  
Liam groaned. “Ryder. The place that tried to kill us?”  
  
“Listen—”  
  
“Oh, this should be good,” Liam said.  
  
“Listen!” Ryder said, taking one hand off the wheel to gesture. “You want to talk about firsts, that was our first. The first, agonising breaths of Andromeda air. And lots of the beautiful things in this galaxy have tried to kill us at one time or another.”  
  
“The stress of being Pathfinder was bound to get to you in the end. We should have seen it coming,” Liam said.  
  
Ryder turned in her seat, grinning at him. “You’re telling me that when we were dodging lightning together, there wasn’t some part of you thinking about how pretty it all was?”  
  
Liam shook his head at her, a familiar fond exasperation playing over his face.  
  
“Road, road!” Jaal cut in. Ryder turned her attention back to the wheel, spinning them away from the approaching cliff-face.  
  
“Yeah,” Liam said, pulling himself back upright after the jolt, “maybe we should do a bit less reminiscing about our near-death experiences—”  
  
“I could do some reminiscing about my actual death experiences,” Ryder cut in.  
  
“Maybe,” Jaal said, speaking over both of them, “you should both discover some quiet, before I rethink my decision to join this crew.”  
  
Silence reined for five seconds before Ryder started giggling into her hand, and Liam quickly followed. Jaal sighed, managing to remain stern for another second before he too started chuckling.  
  
Liam hit Ryder in the shoulder. “Why are you so happy today, anyway?”  
  
Ryder didn’t get a chance to answer before the Nomad veered over the largest drop yet, crashing once, twice, before the wheels found purchase again.  
  
“Oh, me?” Ryder said, a little breathless. She had already started revving again, sending them barrelling down the remainder of the slope. “What’s there not to be happy about?”  
  
…  
  
Jaal traced his fingers over the veins on Ryder’s wrist, then held out his other hand to the right, towards Liam. Ryder giggled into her beer, and Liam eyed the hand for a moment before laughing and offering his own wrist.  
  
“I have read about your circulatory system,” Jaal said, only a slight shake to his voice. “It is similar to our own. But to be able to see it from the surface is strange.” He held Ryder’s wrist up to the light, then drew Liam’s up alongside it.  
  
“Hey, that’s a loaner,” Liam said. “Need it.” He mumbled, reaching for his own beer with his other hand.  
  
“For drinking,” Ryder said, half leaning against Jaal’s shoulder.  
  
“For drinking,” Liam said, and drank.  
  
Ryder snapped her fingers. “Jaal, don’t—don’t start saying we’re fragile. You’ll sound like…”  
  
“Yeah, Krogan,” Liam joined in.  
  
“And even turians.” Ryder said, sitting up and giving Jaal a conspiratorial look. “They say we’re squishy and breakable.”  
  
Jaal let their wrists drop, smiling. “Do your people always—” he gestured, knocking Liam’s beer.  
  
“Sabotage!” Liam said, grabbing it before it could spill out over the rocky floor.  
  
Jaal ignored him. “…always conflate visibility and softness, with being fragile.”  
  
“More often than you’d think,” Ryder said, leaning back against the rock face.  
  
“Strange,” Jaal said.  
  
“Do you think,” Liam said, “in a hundred years, there’ll still be asking this stuff.”  
  
“Who’ll be asking what stuff?” Ryder said.  
  
“Angara and us – do you think there’ll still be comparing and trying to figure each other out.”  
  
“I don’t know,” Ryder said. “We’ve made great strides already. The three of us, specifically.”  
  
“We’ve really been pulling a lot of weight here,” Liam said.  
  
“Yes, you’re both laudable pioneers,” Jaal said. “Always willing to interrogate your fellow crew members in the name of cultural exchange.”  
  
“Hey, you asked the last question,” Liam said.  
  
“Yeah, you know, no one’s buying this,” Ryder said, shaking her head at him.  
  
“What are we buying?” Jaal asked.  
  
“What we are not buying,” Ryder said, “is your whole long-suffering deal. You and Liam argue at least as much as me and Liam do, for all your...” she gestured with her beer, almost spilling it onto Jaal, “grousing.”  
  
“I…do not recall any such arguments,” Jaal said. Liam gave an incredulous laugh. “Spirited cultural exchange, perhaps,” Jaal said, holding back a smile.  
  
“Spirited alright,” Liam said. “I mean it, though,” he said, after a silence. “Do you think that’s where were going? When all the questions have been asked, all the arguments have been had. Maybe it’ll all just be…known,” he said, leaning his head back and looking up at the stars.  
  
“You’re always racing towards the end,” Ryder said, gently. “We’ve gotta live here. In the messy, awkward part.”  
  
“Isn’t that what a Pathfinder does?” Jaal said. “Look towards the future.”  
  
Ryder shrugged. “Can’t find the path if you never look down at where you’re going.”  
  
“Can’t find a path if you never look ahead, either,” Liam said.  
  
“Well, that’s why I have you,” Ryder said, smiling at him over Jaal. “I can look down, you can look ahead, and Jaal can look…”  
  
“…Backwards?” Liam said.  
  
“Wherever Jaal wants to look,” Ryder finished.  
  
“This seems fair,” Jaal said.  
  
“Foolproof,” Ryder agreed, nodding up at the sky.  
  
“Yeah, because it’s all been smooth sailing so far,” Liam said.  
  
“You know, you’re full of complaints tonight,” Ryder said, gesturing with her beer again. Jaal took hold of it and placed it down on the rock in the space between their legs. “Well, it’s no safer there,” she said, but left it.  
  
“Nah,” Liam said. “I’m good. Just…you seem so okay with things sometimes.” He picked at the label on his beer. “Don’t want to think that you’re just…bottling it all up.” He looked down at the bottle again. “Ha.”  
  
Ryder sighed. “I’m not always okay. You know I’m not. But I think I’m kinda…programmed weird. Sometimes things that are frightening really are sort of beautiful. Like the Scourge. Like what Jaal said about good fear.”  
  
“Dos-ashaan,” Jaal said.  
  
“Yeah,” she said. “Like pioneers. Or vertigo. Just the right amount of vertigo.” She reached over and took Jaal’s wrist, tracing her fingers over the space where veins would be.  
  
They stayed quiet for a moment. “I don’t think you’re programmed wrong,” Liam said. He put down his beer and slowly reached over to take Jaal’s other wrist, sliding his hand down so their fingers were intertwined.  
  
Ryder shifted her leg and her foot collided with her beer, sending it rolling over the rocks. “Fuck,” she said, quietly.  
  
“Gotta love the awkward messy parts,” Liam said.  
  
Ryder reached over and knocked his beer over too. “Yeah,” she said, leaning back against Jaal’s shoulder, “you really do.”

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly have no idea if this is interesting to anyone who isn't me, but I had too much fun writing it to let it stay in my drafts forever.


End file.
